Saturday, July 21, 2007

Got milk?

I love organic milk. Next time you're at the store, check out the expiration date...it's like, six weeks away! We switched over years ago, and I never throw out spoiled milk. Plus, it doesn't have growth hormones and antibiotics in it, so, yay! Plus, it really tastes good!

Horizon makes a whole line of products, and I love love love them. Especially, their yogurt in tubes. Like Gogurt, but in normal flavors and no weird ass colors. I am not anal about it, but I try to avoid Shrek green food for the peanut. You can freeze it, it's like a frozen yogurt flav-r-ice pop. Bella LOVES it, frozen or not.

5 Minutes for Mom is having a contest, giving away $300 in gift certificates to one lucky blogger. I already buy this stuff, so, wow, huge help with the grocery bill. If you do dairy, I recommend entering. Their products are superb!

MIA

Yeah, I'm an ass. I've been incommunicado.

I disappeared. I finally got in to see a cardiologist, and the news was really shitty. He took one look at a report that a previous group pretty much ignored and put me on serious cardiac meds, told me to wean my daughter *now* and that I probably shouldn't have more kids. Oh, and since this is genetic, I'd better make sure daughter gets screened before participating in athletic activity, cause this is the kinda thing that causes 12 year olds to drop dead on soccer fields.

You can imagine how well I took this. Well, in true M'Lynn fashion, I rallied. I whimpered in self pity on the way home, then decided, this needed a kick in the ass. What's the alternative really? I have a fan-fucking-tastic family, and I'm going to be around as long as possible to enjoy them. I was going to beat this.

First, I posted to Dr. Hale's lactation forums to ask about the medication. He is the leading authority on medication and mother's milk, and since I'm a nurse, I can log in and ask questions. He said that the amount that is transferred to the milk combined with how little milk a toddler actually gets is negligible and to nurse without worry. I went on the meds, and meanwhile, was doing a hellish communte for a short term job in a surgery center. I also decided that having a positive attitude was the way to go, cause no one ever got better saying and thinking, "I'm not getting better." I heard John St. Augustine tell this story on the radio just before my diagnosis, and it really stuck with me. I visualized my heart pumping blood more effectively (it helps that I know exactly what this looks like, cause I've done open heart surgery.)

A few months into that job, I fell and sprained the hell out of my ankle. I was in a cast for weeks. Pain, pain, pain. It had been about eight weeks since I started the medication. My doctor wanted to do another test to compare to the original. Guess what?

The test was normal. Completely normal. Like, what a 34 year old should be. So much so that they ordered a copy of the original test that the other practice did to review it, cause this was a huge difference. Two separate physicians reviewed the original. It was read correctly the first time. The problem was there. However, it's not there now.

The doctors can't explain it. I'm on a fairly low dose of medication. However, next to them saying, "Your original doctor was clearly high when she read this, you never had a problem," this is the best possible news I could get. I asked him about future pregnancy...could I? He said, "Sure, just come see me before you do, and we'll check you out again..." I asked him if I needed to hook up with a high risk obstetrician. He said, "Nope." He said that they could change my medication to what they give pregnant women with blood pressure issues...that it's quite safe.

So, now that I'm out of the cast, I'm not really doing a particular diet thing, but I am moving my copious ass. The treadmill is fixed, and I'm doing the Couch to 5k running plan. I'm not a runner. I *hate* running. However, I'm loving this. Hubby scored me an ipod shuffle on jellyfish.com (which I'll detail in another post.) I have loaded it up with shake that ass music (and I have awful taste in music...really,) and the thirty minutes flies by. Take a look and check it out.

Food is an obstacle. I loooove to eat. Plus, it's been stressful, as always...pain and limited mobility for a while, self pity and worry that would creep in about my heart, something else huge that I won't get into here, and the loss of my 13 year old beagle made it hard. However, I didn't gain, which is more than a little amazing. So, I'm back on the horse. Let's ride!

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Progress

Six pounds gone by making smarter choices and exercising.

Started WW Online Flex points on Friday. Discovered that I'm not eating as badly as I thought.

In the department of shit that just ain't fair, the treadmill belt is screwed up, and I have to wait for the repair. Luckily, we're going to Seattle this week and the hotel where we're staying has a deal where you can use the local Bally's for free.

I'm going to be starting a new job (I'm an OR nurse) so I'll be up and moving more. At least for those thirteen weeks. Then, we are starting our own business (as long as everything continues to go well.)

*One* coke as morning coffee will not kill me. A waste of two points? Yes, but it's not the end of the world.

Oh, and best reason to keep breastfeeding: the extra points you get for lactating! She's a toddler, so I don't really count on using all ten extra points. More like five.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Where My Blog Got It's Name

I have tried several times to post this where it will be here in my blog, but I clearly lack the mad skillz. So, here it is.

AWWWW YEAAAAAH...

Been in a funk

so, I've been a hermit. And I've been bad.

There has been coca cola...and cupcakes.

Today, however, is a new day. Back on the treadmill. No coke. We picked up one of these yesterday, and I basked in it's blue glow this morning. Hopefully, it will work. I am optimistic.

I'm coming to visit you ladies this weekend. I promise. I will be interactive.

I was ready to declare it All Lost, but darnit, we have to keep trying.

I will, however, leave you with this. A dear friend of mine wrote it. She is a constant inspiration to me, as she has more than walked the walk when it comes to this. She has fought the battles the hard way and won. She did it. We can do it, too.

I have saved this. When I'm feeling lazy and hopeless, I read this. Some of it is harsh, and it's meant to be. It's a kick in the pants. I'm sharing it with you, because it helps me. It will never be any easier than it is today. We CAN do this.

****

What is this miracle cure? How can you get it? How much does it cost?

Its absolutely, positively free.

Its called Willpower. And no one can sell it to you. You won't win it in the lottery, and no one will come to your home or office and give it to you because its your birthday or you were nice to some old lady in the grocery store last week.

It means you, saying no to yourself.
It means controlling your urges.
It means having the discipline to look at the long-term picture and make short-term decisions to head towards the goal. every day. every minute.

It means that YOU *yes YOU* have to start. RIGHT NOW.

Its no good to buy the exercise equipment if you're not going to use it.

Gym membership ~payments~ burn no extra calories.

Cookies eaten in the dark have just as many calories as they do during the daytime.

Spending money that you don't have on frivolous things will NEVER be okay in the long run

Being exhausted from not enough sleep from watching another mindless TV show late into the night is NOT acceptable excuse for not making it through the day

Spending another day of complaining about your job (or lack of job) when you have not done absolutely ::everything:: in your power to get up off your ass and DO something about it is ridiculous.


It means deciding that today is the day you stop rationalizing all the poor decisions you have made and make out of habit.

It means no more excuses for taking just one more bite, or sitting on the couch when you could be exercising. or not being completely present in your life Right. Now.

It means YOU have to be an Adult. It means YOU have to decide that your life is not going to get lived by ::anyone else::. No one is responsible for your health and your happiness ~other~ than you. If you aren't happy where you are? Go Change it for God's sake! What the HELL are you waiting for??

If you aren't healthy? And you CAN Do something about it? Get off your sorry, lazy ass and DO SOMETHING! Do you ~honestly~ believe someone is going to do it FOR YOU!? How could you ::possibly:: let yourself delude yourself for a single day longer? Baby, you ain't getting a single day younger. Its not going to get ANY easier than it is Right. Now.

Think about the rest of your life. Do you ~really~ want to feel like ::this:: for the rest of it?
How about worse? Want to feel worse? Because I'm here to tell ya, Life will NOT Improve unless YOU take the steps to make it that way. Age has a way of having a mighty slippery slope. Downwards.

I don't care WHAT you do to get there. I don't care if you want to learn to juggle Amazon ruffled Roosters, for god-sake... but there is something you COULD be doing that you aren't, and in the end, there is absolutely NO ONE to blame but yourself.

I am holding you to task. I am looking directly at YOU and telling you to give me an accounting of why you think there is some reason you can't do it. And let me tell you, whenever you get done with your laundry list of excuses and rationalizations, I'm still going to be here, staring you down and expecting you to get on with it.

Because you want to know something good?

Whenever you get done telling me why you ::can't:: start making healthy, positive choices in your life? I'm going to be here telling you that YES. YOU. CAN.

Right now. Decide you want you life to be better, longer, healthier, richer, more peaceful, more loving.
See what that means to you. See your spirit being lighter and your horizons expanding. See it. Imagine what it feels like. What it tastes like. Make the image ::real:: to you.

and then?
Just Do It.

You CAN Make changes in your life.
YOU have the power to break bad habits and forge new, healthy ones.
YOU are responsible for your own life and making the happy endings you want.

You are a Grown Up, and You can do this.
Its a brand new day.
I have faith in you.

Now Get to it.
*****

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Off. The. Wagon.

Had a bad day. Two sweet, sweet, co-colas made it better. Oddly, I was at two grocery stores, hadn't eaten lunch, and didn't get any snack or Bad Food.

Maybe, I'm not HFCS's bitch anymore.

In any case, tomorrow is a new day. That was 9 days cold turkey. Let's go for at least 10 next time.