Sunday, January 28, 2007

Progress

Six pounds gone by making smarter choices and exercising.

Started WW Online Flex points on Friday. Discovered that I'm not eating as badly as I thought.

In the department of shit that just ain't fair, the treadmill belt is screwed up, and I have to wait for the repair. Luckily, we're going to Seattle this week and the hotel where we're staying has a deal where you can use the local Bally's for free.

I'm going to be starting a new job (I'm an OR nurse) so I'll be up and moving more. At least for those thirteen weeks. Then, we are starting our own business (as long as everything continues to go well.)

*One* coke as morning coffee will not kill me. A waste of two points? Yes, but it's not the end of the world.

Oh, and best reason to keep breastfeeding: the extra points you get for lactating! She's a toddler, so I don't really count on using all ten extra points. More like five.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Where My Blog Got It's Name

I have tried several times to post this where it will be here in my blog, but I clearly lack the mad skillz. So, here it is.

AWWWW YEAAAAAH...

Been in a funk

so, I've been a hermit. And I've been bad.

There has been coca cola...and cupcakes.

Today, however, is a new day. Back on the treadmill. No coke. We picked up one of these yesterday, and I basked in it's blue glow this morning. Hopefully, it will work. I am optimistic.

I'm coming to visit you ladies this weekend. I promise. I will be interactive.

I was ready to declare it All Lost, but darnit, we have to keep trying.

I will, however, leave you with this. A dear friend of mine wrote it. She is a constant inspiration to me, as she has more than walked the walk when it comes to this. She has fought the battles the hard way and won. She did it. We can do it, too.

I have saved this. When I'm feeling lazy and hopeless, I read this. Some of it is harsh, and it's meant to be. It's a kick in the pants. I'm sharing it with you, because it helps me. It will never be any easier than it is today. We CAN do this.

****

What is this miracle cure? How can you get it? How much does it cost?

Its absolutely, positively free.

Its called Willpower. And no one can sell it to you. You won't win it in the lottery, and no one will come to your home or office and give it to you because its your birthday or you were nice to some old lady in the grocery store last week.

It means you, saying no to yourself.
It means controlling your urges.
It means having the discipline to look at the long-term picture and make short-term decisions to head towards the goal. every day. every minute.

It means that YOU *yes YOU* have to start. RIGHT NOW.

Its no good to buy the exercise equipment if you're not going to use it.

Gym membership ~payments~ burn no extra calories.

Cookies eaten in the dark have just as many calories as they do during the daytime.

Spending money that you don't have on frivolous things will NEVER be okay in the long run

Being exhausted from not enough sleep from watching another mindless TV show late into the night is NOT acceptable excuse for not making it through the day

Spending another day of complaining about your job (or lack of job) when you have not done absolutely ::everything:: in your power to get up off your ass and DO something about it is ridiculous.


It means deciding that today is the day you stop rationalizing all the poor decisions you have made and make out of habit.

It means no more excuses for taking just one more bite, or sitting on the couch when you could be exercising. or not being completely present in your life Right. Now.

It means YOU have to be an Adult. It means YOU have to decide that your life is not going to get lived by ::anyone else::. No one is responsible for your health and your happiness ~other~ than you. If you aren't happy where you are? Go Change it for God's sake! What the HELL are you waiting for??

If you aren't healthy? And you CAN Do something about it? Get off your sorry, lazy ass and DO SOMETHING! Do you ~honestly~ believe someone is going to do it FOR YOU!? How could you ::possibly:: let yourself delude yourself for a single day longer? Baby, you ain't getting a single day younger. Its not going to get ANY easier than it is Right. Now.

Think about the rest of your life. Do you ~really~ want to feel like ::this:: for the rest of it?
How about worse? Want to feel worse? Because I'm here to tell ya, Life will NOT Improve unless YOU take the steps to make it that way. Age has a way of having a mighty slippery slope. Downwards.

I don't care WHAT you do to get there. I don't care if you want to learn to juggle Amazon ruffled Roosters, for god-sake... but there is something you COULD be doing that you aren't, and in the end, there is absolutely NO ONE to blame but yourself.

I am holding you to task. I am looking directly at YOU and telling you to give me an accounting of why you think there is some reason you can't do it. And let me tell you, whenever you get done with your laundry list of excuses and rationalizations, I'm still going to be here, staring you down and expecting you to get on with it.

Because you want to know something good?

Whenever you get done telling me why you ::can't:: start making healthy, positive choices in your life? I'm going to be here telling you that YES. YOU. CAN.

Right now. Decide you want you life to be better, longer, healthier, richer, more peaceful, more loving.
See what that means to you. See your spirit being lighter and your horizons expanding. See it. Imagine what it feels like. What it tastes like. Make the image ::real:: to you.

and then?
Just Do It.

You CAN Make changes in your life.
YOU have the power to break bad habits and forge new, healthy ones.
YOU are responsible for your own life and making the happy endings you want.

You are a Grown Up, and You can do this.
Its a brand new day.
I have faith in you.

Now Get to it.
*****

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Off. The. Wagon.

Had a bad day. Two sweet, sweet, co-colas made it better. Oddly, I was at two grocery stores, hadn't eaten lunch, and didn't get any snack or Bad Food.

Maybe, I'm not HFCS's bitch anymore.

In any case, tomorrow is a new day. That was 9 days cold turkey. Let's go for at least 10 next time.

Friday, January 12, 2007

That sucks...

Stripilates is on a 4-6 week hold! LAAAAAAAME!

Friday Future MILF check in

I don't think I lost anything this week. That doesn't mean that there wasn't progress, baby!

I discovered that Chai Luna bars are quite tasty.

Yesterday, I learned that I AM an emotional eater. I was on my way to get a big ass Subway sammich full of veggies on whole wheat bread (cause I do love that,) and Something Happened that pushed some buttons. As I was driving to Subway (on my way to run errands,) I was consumed by the desire for a red velvet cupcake from the bakery in our small town (they are DIVINE.) Earlier this week, I was pleasantly surprised at how I didn't want any of the baked goods or candy or any such nonsense at the store while I was shopping. I've always been tied up in knots about one thing or another that the eating for comfort was just something that I did. I thought I was just an undisciplined, lazy fat girl, and while I may indeed be those things, there is an emotional reaction going on that I didn't even realize. I was able to look it in the eye, call it what it was, and move on. No cupcake.

One week without Coca-Cola. I'm kinda jonesing for one right now. I'll have a big glass of pom-water* instead.

I discovered that there is strength in doing this with some other people, even though I don't know you all personally. I know that there is a group out there full of women who are going through the same struggles, the difficult choices, and we're gonna do this.

Yesterday, I got on the treadmill for thirty minutes. I was up most of the night with the baby and napped this morning. I was perfectly content with sitting here on the sofa and vegging out on the internet...maybe doing some knitting or making some of the beaded stitch markers (for knitting) that I now have all of the supplies to make. I thought about it. Thirty minutes, M'Lynn. You promised yourself. You promised Princess Punky Pants. I did it. My secret for passing the time is my collection of DVDs...I am watching Sex and the City from the beginning. When Chris Noth is on the screen, my walk has a little more sway in it (unrelated, but kinda related: when I'm in Manhattan, I wear Chanel Cristalle, cause I like it, and he said in an interview that he has a weakness for that scent. In the Fantasy World I Often Inhabit, this would cause him to tell me I smell terrific if I passed him on the street. That's all I need...just a little spring in my step and the approval of Mr. Big.) So, two days in a row. It's not a habit yet, but it's a step in the right direction, and an hour more exercise that I've done in a long time.

Oh, what you can do to make your toilet clean freeing up time for you to move your hiney. I got it a couple of months ago. It works.

I mentioned this in Mom O Matic's comments the other day. Karrie over at One Weird Mother said it is, indeed, the shizzle. I told Himself to forget bringing flowers. Maybe, he should bring home one of these (there is a Costco right by his office.) Of course, what I really want him to bring is over here, but I digress.

Oh, Karrie...I used to live in Somerville near Porter Square. Boy, did I ever need a SAD light that year!

Progress. That's what we're doing here. I'll check in with all of your blogs over the weekend!

*pom...the "m" kinda looks like an "r" and an "n" run together. That's a whole different kinda water.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Natural peanut butter can kiss my ample, cottage cheesy posterior.

Holy crap is that stuff bad.

Not only does it lack taste, but the Trader Joe's brand I had bought had completely separated. I stirred it as much as I could, but it was runny. Combine the consistency with the color, and anyone who has routinely changed diapers can see how unattractive that is.

I had about a tablespoon or so of it with some whole wheat crackers before dinner. They say that if you eat some nuts about twenty minutes before you eat, you will eat less. It works. However, next time, I'll be eating something else.

Oh, Peter Pan, how I miss you.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

What I wanted and what I ate

Includes the following:

I wanted peanut m&m's (I keep them in my mouth til it's melty enough for the shell to crack easily, then I suck all the chocolate off and then disassemble the peanut with my teeth, yes I know I'm weird.) I ate dry roasted almonds (cause Dr. Oz says to eat the nuts.)

I wanted cocoa pebbles. I ate frosted mini wheats (I'm weaning myself off of crazy chocolate frosted sugar bombs, a habit that started up after our October trip to Disney World and someone had effing cocoa pebbles.)

I wanted Coca Cola. I drank so much water that I thought that I was going to float away. I haven't drank this much since I was pregnant and dehydrated, flinging me into some contractions at 35 weeks and darnit, that baby wasn't done cooking.) I'm trying to keep my pee clear. This means I'm running to the bathroom as often as I did when I was pregnant. Peanut has an annoying night cough, so I'm up anyway.

We had spaghetti and meatballs. I tried out the Ronzoni whole wheat blend pasta. It doesn't suck. I didn't notice a difference. So, I'll be substituting this as often as possible.

Friday, January 5, 2007

Future MILF Weekly Weigh In and Shizzle!

Okay.

Here's the deal.

Behavior modification is what I'm doing. Strict dieting will fling me in the direction of a nasty eating disorder faster than you can say, "Nicole Richie," so I"m taking it slowly. I know that the dieting doesn't work. However, I AM going to be as healthy as I can to make sure that I am around to raise that gorgeous little girl sleeping up stairs and be a general pain in the ass (but in a good way,) to everyone.

Today? No Coca-Cola (aka Mother's Milk, aka Nectar of the Gods.) Oh, how I love it. Actually, it has been starting to taste funny as of late. Maybe, I'm successfully convincing my taste buds that high fructose corn syrup is, indeed, the devil.

So...I did have some sweet tea. I make it with 3 parts Splenda and 1 part sugar (straight up Splenda doesn't have the viscosity of sugar...the mouth feel is not right without a wee bit of syrup-iness.) I'm not sure if I can give up that sugar entirely. Right now, we're on the "no Coke, dammit" plan.

Water. I drank a lot today. I continue to drink it while I type this post (I think I'm gonna get one of those beer hats with the straw that comes down to my mouth so I can drink, drink, drink!) I like to put a splash of pomegranate juice in it, as it gives me some sweet, sweet antioxidants, and it makes the water taste like Kool Aid that you'd make as a kid (before that nutrasweet nonsense,) and you didn't mix the sugar in well enough, so it just tastes like barely fruity water? I get the blueberry mix, as, MORE ANTIOXIDANTS! and I love me some blueberries, as well.

I came up upon a fresh accident (car vs. deer) as I was going to the grocery to get dinner. Since I am a nurse, I always stop to see if anyone is hurt. Since said deer was in the middle of the lane, I parked my car in the lane with the hazards on so that no one else would come up and nearly hit it like I did. As a result, dinner quickly downshifted from anything involving me handling raw meat (I'm a notorious hypocrite. My meat comes from a styrofoam and plastic wrap factory.) and became Chinese take out. I carefully went over the menu, and instead of ordering what I really wanted (egg roll, crab rangoon, and greasy lo mein,) I ordered spicy tofu and broccoli (what I often order anyway,) brown rice and steamed (not fried!) dumplings.

While waiting for that, I went next door to the grocery, and among other things, I tried to purchase some yogurt. It never occured to me that most yogurt has our good friend, high fructose corn syrup, in it. I try to stay away from the nutrasweet and lean more to the splendiferous Splenda (which everyone will know is awful for us in about seven years.) I finally found some that had Splenda in it (Dannon Something with the word "Fit" in it...Sit and Be Fit, anyone?) I do have a yogurt maker. I tried making homemade yogurt for the peanut, but she is sensitive to the dairy. I tried the goats milk and what not. She still broke out in a rash. Now, I could make it with soymilk, but I got the Silk yogurt, and realized that after all of this, the peanut would rather feed herself things that crunch. I'll probably start making yogurt for my own self soon.

Fitness. I'm getting the same ick that the Himself has. I had a million errands to run today, so I parked far away from the stores I went to, and dammit, I attended the scene of an accident! I did order some fitness DVDs. I'm trying out the following (in addition the current bellydance DVD I bought, but never used, cause just the PURCHASING takes care of the fitness requirement, right? No? Okay...)

East Coast Tribal Bellydance
Island Girl Dance: Tahitian Cardio I clicked poorly! There is Tahitian Hip Hop! Which brings me to...
Quickfix Cardio Hip Hop Workout Cause I wanna get my dance on.

and last...but not least...
Stripilates

Oh, and to give myself a quick pick me up, I went to the hairdresser and got my hair cut in a sassy bob and had it dyed red...harlot red, with some blonde highlights in the front. I managed to put on makeup, and I dressed kinda nicely. As a result, the cute boy behind the counter at Borders was being a bit flirty. So, maybe I am on my way to MILF-itude (I'm right as rain with the term.) You know, in a Non Goal Oriented Flirting kinda way.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Well, am I getting anywhere?

Not really. I need to purge the leftovers from the New Years extravaganza we had here. There was an entire baked brie left over!

I have not had The Holiday Spirit this year. I otherwise love Christmas. I usually put up a minimum of three trees (was planning to expand to FOUR this year!) I put up two, and I did so weeks later than I normally do. Yesterday, I took down everything except the tree in the family room. I decided that the up and down the stairs with boxes and crap counts as light cardio. Disassembling the 9 foot tree will do that to a girl, dontcha think?

I've decided to start with the whole "YOU: On a Diet" thing. It seems it all starts with walking thirty minutes a day, no matter what. That seems like a pretty good start, rather than something like, "Never eat another piece of fruit." I haven't cracked the book open yet, but in the Costco magazine I picked up at their customer service desk today, the first of the ten things in a highlighted box full of "important crap from the book," was an order to have a happy, healthy sex life. Dude. A diet that tells me to have sex can't be too wrong, you know what I'm sayin'? Way better than, "NO FRUIT EVER!" (You can see that I kinda have a thing about the low carb diets.) Maybe tomorrow, I'll start with the reading.